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RnR Hot Stove: The R&R Empowering Society of Alberta

9/26/2022

Good Morning Everyone! Today is a good day to have a good day! Beautiful sunshine out here in the wilds of Northern Alberta and my mind is full of reflection on the week past and anticipation for my week ahead. The thoughts and prayers of the R & R Team are also on all those with friends and relations on Canada’s East Coast this past week. Many friends and relations have been hit hard by the storms off NFLD and Nova Scotia and may those struggling find the strong spirit that is part of our East Coasters. May you all work together to “Rise Again”.    Both Tracy and I have many special friends who reside in or come from that area. This past summer Tracy even had the distinct pleasure of being screeched in and ‘kissing the cod.! Send We are sending hope and strength to all those affected by the storms that have ravished the east coast of our beautiful Canada, our true north ‘strong and free’ We are ONE and we send you buckets of love!

Our week was also filled with much love at Hart’s Table and Bar in Edmonton on Saturday night where over a hundred people came together to celebrate the inauguration of expanding the focus of the former R & R Memorial Foundation. The R & R Memorial Foundation was initially focused on providing funds only to families in Whitecourt, Alberta needing a hand up in order to have a child play organized hockey. Stay tuned for testimonials in future blogs of some of our past recipients who have benefited from such assistance from the R & R Memorial Foundation. The new entity is now entitled THE R & R Empowering Society of Alberta. It is now the purpose of the organization to create greater awareness and extend its reach provincially to all Alberta youngsters not just in hockey but in many other extracurricular pursuits. As well a dynamic of the new society now includes assistance both financially and educationally for those families where leaving an abusive environment is an issue and where help is needed for breaking free of such dangerous situations in an ultimate quest to end the culture of violence all too prevalent in our society. I had the privilege of introducing the force behind the initial establishment of and the expanded focus of the new organization. Here are some excerpts from my introduction of that “force” at Hart’s Table and Bar in Edmonton on Saturday night.

“Good Evening Everyone. To celebrate the inauguration of the R & R Empowering Society of Alberta. I am delighted to begin our incredible evening by introducing to you the force behind the establishment of a new entity formerly known as the R & R Memorial Foundation. In order to expand its reach and focus the new organization has now been christened as THE R & R EMPOWERING SOCIETY OF ALBERTA.

My name is Sandra Young Kolbuc and I have the distinct honor of introducing a woman who epitomizes the expression “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!” One cold winter day in December of 2016, six days before Christmas, the life trajectory of this woman tragically and unimaginably changed in an instant when she and her husband Brent discover that her hockey playing boys, Radek 11 and Ryder 13, had both been brutally murdered in a double murder/suicide at the hand of their biological father in Spruce Grove, Alberta. Such was a horrendous nightmare from which she could not awaken.

In the depth of her sorrow this woman made a solid pledge to her sons that their brief lives on this earth would make a difference in the lives of other mothers and children. Her life work became a job she had never applied for that of nurturing the legacy of two beautiful sons who now play on Heaven’s All Star Team.

In our work together as therapist and client and subsequently in our working together to write a heartfelt book entitled Gross Misconduct Hitting From Behind which we birthed and coddled over a pandemic was finally be released on March 23/2022. As all hockey fans know a gross misconduct is the worst penalty a player can receive in the game of hockey. The woman of whom I speak was truly hit from behind by the untimely death of her two children by the actions of their biological father whom she had trusted to do right by them.

What I truly wanted in the book title was one more line and that line which eventually found its place on the back cover of the book was A MOTHER’S LOVE STORY because the essence of our book is ultimately that. A MOTHER’S LOVE STORY and the launching of the new entity precisely defines such love for her two sons to perpetuate their memory and make a difference for other children.

This woman of whom I speak truly represents both grace and grit , dedication and determination as evidenced in her tenacious quest to ensure that the short lives of her boys Ryder Patryk & Radek Stryker make a difference in a world. Our world at this time is desperately short of real heroes. But tonight WE HAVE ONE such hero amongst us in this room.

I continue to witness the intensity of her purpose and her desire to change the lives of both women and children in our corner of the universe on behalf of her sons. Tonight, this woman will share her commitment to bringing life to The R & R Empowering Society of Alberta. Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to the microphone - a first line centre in this game of life – one courageous woman named TRACY STARK.”

Love Sandra

Please visit The R&R Empowering Society of Alberta's new website @ www.rnrempoweringsocietyofalberta.ca

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RnR Hot Stove - Changes in Hockey

9/19/2022

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GOOD MONDAY AFTERNOON EVERYONE! Hope first week of school went well for…everyone!

When I was a young girl of twelve BACK IN THE DARK AGES, I was totally passionate about hockey. I even collected hockey cards and autographs from hockey stars and was a focused participant with our family’s hockey game with the marble and metal hockey players. As well I was a street hockey fanatic! The ‘rink’ was the roadway in front of our home. But… every Saturday morning, I got to play with the CUB SCOUTS organization. Mr. Johnny Jenkins, my neighbor and father of three boys, told me I was better than all the boys out on the rink! Needless to say, he was my favorite person in the world as I was the only girl brave enough to put on my white figure skates and don a hockey stick amongst the boys. BUT then – Tragedy! I began to develop boobs and my time on the ice…ended. Girls were not allowed to play organized hockey. That was a BOYS ONLY club where young boys learned to be MEN. What happened in the dressing room stayed in the dressing room. NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!

There was no use for me as a young woman to cry about my being unable to continue in my passion for hockey. That was just the way it was for a girl aka ‘a tomboy’ like me. It was a cultural norm in our society that girls did not play hockey so….. I switched to playing basketball which was “allowed” by the powers that be at that time on a girls’ team of course. So basketball became my passion and I never gave much thought to my change in sport although when I was 12 or 13, I did sneak on my brother’s Toronto Maple Leaf sweater and hockey gear one day when he was away and had my mother take a picture of me in it. Of course today I wanted to post that picture and can’t find it. Probably somewhere with my forever missing Day-Timer.

However, September 4, 2022, I had the privilege of watching CANADA’S esteemed captain and mother #29 MARIE PHILIP POULIN of TEAM CANADA block the final shot of the game by her American opponent and with the two-goal game of her outstanding teammate #19 BRIANNE JENNER I witnessed CANADA win the WOMEN’S WORLD HOCKEY CHAMPIONSHIP the second year in a row! As the old feminist saying goes “We’ve come a long way BABY! “CONGRATULATIONS to our Canadian Women’s Hockey Team!

However, in many instances girls and women are still battling for EQUAL ICE TIME with the boys’ and men’s team. They are still wearing second hand boys’ jerseys after the boys get new ones. As women we are still battling with a hockey culture that needs a permanent definitive overhaul to espouse values that lead our players to be outstanding citizens because of their experiences on and off the ice as team members. One of my female friends continually refers to men’s hockey as ‘legalized violence’ and finds allowing fighting as an integral part of the men’s game …disturbing. Is that how we want our boys to handle conflict off the ice? Is that how we stop bullying off the ice and sometimes in the dressing room …..where Might makes Right??

However, our brave hockey women players are leading the way forward in changing the culture of hockey on the heels of women like Billie Jean King, Serena Williams, Hayley Wickenheiser and other female athletes ever alert to the need for women to find their voices for an equal and fair seat at the ‘Sport’ tables. May we all read Sheryl Sandberg’s best-selling book from a few years ago entitled LEANIN’ IN. May we also know that combining our femininity, our style with tenacity is also acceptable on the ice and off. Thanks Serena! What a Champion! Another Game Changer!

We need to speak out about things that matter in so many aspects of our society. Exposed sexual abuse issues coming to light in junior hockey antics off the ice and pay outs made to victims for their silence to avoid charges being laid against the perpetrators because they play hockey is beyond reprehensible and has led Hockey Canada to consider important changes in the way things are handled in our hockey ‘family’.

HOCKEY and CANADA are interchangeable words. “Since 1914 Hockey Canada has been the organization that Canadians have trusted to lead, develop and promote positive hockey experiences. In 2019, it expanded its reach to require the board to have at least two male and two female members to ‘better reflect Canadian society and to be more diverse and inclusive.’ A small but good first step one hundred years later!

However recent events have called that initial trust given Hockey Canada in 1914 into question with the junior hockey fiasco that has come to light this summer. “Pursuant to Hockey Canada bylaws the members of Hockey Canada’s Board of Directors have appointed Andrea Skinner to serve as interim Chair of the Board. Ms. Skinner was first elected to the Hockey Canada Board of Directors in November of 2020 and has volunteered countless hours in service to the organization. In her past, Skinner was a former captain of the Cornell University Women’s hockey team and served as assistant coach of the University of Ottawa’s women’s hockey team as well as serving a hockey referee. She practices law as a partner at Aird & Berlis LLP where she also serves as Chair of the Diversity and Inclusion Committee and leads the firm’s Mental Health Initiative.” It was exciting for me as a forever female athlete to hear her speak about her new role between the first and second periods of the championship game and I wish her every success in her new challenging role. May she be as brave and tenacious in her new role as she was as a player on the ice.

Ms. Skinner must be a dynamic leader and find her voice to speak loudly and clearly from a mother and woman’s perspective about totally unacceptable behaviors and practices now being revealed and reviewed in the hockey community and in need of serious consideration and change. The secrecy surrounding inappropriate bullying behavior by coaches, parents and players alike must end. Young hockey players are our sons and grandsons, our daughters and granddaughters and are negatively affected by inadequate and unfair practices in sport and in society generally both on and off the playing surfaces.

Yes. We as women must never be silent as we still have ‘a long way to go … BABY! ‘ We must continue to find our voices about changes needed in the best interest of our most vulnerable citizens – women and both boys and girls alike – in all facets of society.

Hockey culture is a great platform on which to inject our more serious concerns as we model good behaviors as parents, volunteers, coaches and players as we teach and model for our boys and girls how to be good people respectful of all the fans in the stands, our opponents, our coaches and each other.

Please join our team in finding your voice about things that matter and may you be courageous enough to read our book Gross Misconduct Hitting From Behind. If you have not yet done so please share your good reviews on Amazon. If bad, just send them to me! We need to bring greater awareness to the need for change in our world. We need you on our TEAM where TOGETHER EVERYONE (will) ACCOMPLISH MIRACLES and change the culture of violence in our society!

                                      Love Sandra

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Back to School and Activies

9/12/2022

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GOOD MONDAY MORNING EVERYONE! Actually AFTERNOON! A little slow today! Hope your August was as stellar as mine with the incredible sunshine we experienced here in Alberta. Exciting to be back this morning around the R & R Hot Stove after taking a break to reconnect with some of my greatest fans aka my eleven grandkids (9 bio and 2 adopted) aged four to eighteen!

   My oldest grandson Gavin is off for an exciting new adventure in Northern BC as assistant captain of the Mackenzie Mountaineers hockey team! Winston (7) and Maxym (11) two major hockey fanatics will be donning their hockey skates in Calgary AB this fall while Maddox (8) will be shooting baskets for his team in his great love of basketball! London (14), Prentice (10) and Stella (9) are still twirling and leaping high as incredible young dancers and London is extending her athleticism to volleyball as well! Olivia (12) is going to be trying a new activity as an Army Cadet which will give her a whole variety of activities to experience while Emmanuelle (10) my horse crazy girl excelled recently in an Equestrian Jumping Competition. Viviane (7) loves her biking and skateboarding while our youngest grandkid Alexis (4) tells us she has plans to be a UNICORN and is pursuing that route. How privileged I am to be a Grandmother and so great to spend individual and together time with my kids and their families as writing and promoting Gross Misconduct Hitting From Behind has been a major focus for ‘Old Granny’ for some time.

   Here’s to a great fall for each and every child as schools return to a new ‘normal’ and where every child is deserving of having a great school experience. Hats off to all the teachers returning to the classroom this month and taking care of our precious young Canadians confused by all the turmoil we have witnessed in the last two years! Hats off as well to all those engaged in children’s activities to expand the skills and abilities of children in extracurricular activities underway now that September has arrived! Such activities can make a tremendous difference in the lives of young children where they develop and hone new skills and abilities outside the classroom.

   Years ago, when my husband and I followed our dream of building a log house and living in the wilds of Northern Alberta, we make a conscious decision that our kids would not only have the benefit of such a wilderness experience but would not be denied participation in any extracurricular activities because of our choice to live 30 km from our closest community. Needless to say, we were ‘on the road again’ a lot but that too was a chance to connect with our Kolbuc team members…excepting of course when I would arrive home having forgotten to collect one kid or another! Needless to say, my husband NEVER forgot a child. He had put that task in his Day-Timer unlike his wife who could never be sure where she had placed that ‘lovely’ gift from her husband. However, the many activities our kids pursued as kids is reflected in the skill set they all carry as adults and as parents. Kids who have the privilege of developing skills outside the parameters of classroom learning develop different abilities. Being a part of a team with good leadership in place can also augment academic achievement and can truly change the course of a child’s life. Learning to work together toward a common goal. Learning to “pass” rather than always shoot, developing skills with others passionate about the activity – learning the Together Everyone Accomplishes More concept. Cheering on teammates both alike and different than you. Developing skills in getting along with others. Celebrating communal victories and working through defeat to move forward in a quest to be a better player and teammate each practice………. And seeing your team members working just as hard…. Nothing like it particularly when outstanding coaches with excellent skill development and mentoring practices become a critical part of the toolkits of all those volunteering to provide leadership in sport.

My OUTSTANDING TEAMMATES- TRACY STARK, STACY CROSSLAND and friends are busy promoting activities to raise money for the R & R Memorial Foundation now known as the R & R Empowering Society which has been built to provide assistance for children and families needing a hand up in the funding such empowering activities for kids. The organization has expanded to include assistance with not only sporting activities but other areas of interest for children as well as centering on educational pursuits to END the abuse of women and children in our society. Please refer to the R & R Legacy page on Facebook for further information on such events. AND PLEASE REMEMBER if you are looking for a read for your Book Club please just connect with us and we would be pleased to meet your needs!

                        LOVE Sandra

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WELCOME TO THE R&R HOT STOVE

RnR Hot Stove: The R&R Empowering Society of Alberta

RnR Hot Stove - Changes in Hockey

Back to School and Activies

Sandra Young Kolbuc

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