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WELCOME TO THE R&R HOT STOVE

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Hot Stove was initially a baseball term says Wikipedia.   My husband tells me that in Canada the Hot Stove actually refers to the hot stoves in the “skate shacks” across Canada where kids would “fry” their wet mittens as they warmed up and wiped their runny noses between stints on the ice in the skate shacks beside the ice rinks that dotted our prairie towns!  Who do you believe?? LOL!  My friend Ross Meek- athlete, coach and former PE teacher would speak about his ‘team’ of colleagues adopting the term to describe their gathering together in ‘Hot Stove’ conversations early each Monday mornings after a weekend of watching NHL teams compete in Canada’s game.  

Each MONDAY MORNING you will find a Hot Stove post here on our website.  The focus will NOT normally be about hockey although the passion of two beautiful young hockey-playing boys named Radek and Ryder was certainly front and centre when the boys were alive and the hockey theme runs throughout the book.  We plan to give the reader further insights into some back stories and delve into our objectives as writers of this powerful narrative.  We will profile the incredible courage of a mother and her counselling therapist in the telling of a mother’s love story.  We will also share the actions of those who have helped a grieving mother in the mending of her broken heart as she continues to work on finding a degree of meaning and mastery since the death of her two boys on December 19, 2016 in a brutal senseless act of filicide by their biological father. 
Sometimes the topics will be passionately HOT like that of a burning stove aimed at stoking your courage to find your voice about things that matter in ending all violence against women and children in our society.  May our words encourage you to speak from the rafters of every arena in concert with our aim to end such violence.   Sometimes hopefully we will also bring a grin to your face as we share our connection on this road as client and therapist since 2017. 

                                                                                                                                                SANDRA YOUNG KOLBUC   ​

RnR Hot Stove - Birthday Vacation!

6/27/2022

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GOOD MONDAY AFTERNOON EVERYONE!

What an incredible time I have had since I last connected with readers on the Hot Stove link!  In April my three daughters had a secret group chat without me and informed me I was to keep the June 18th weekend free as they were afraid I would schedule a ‘book event’ that weekend and they had something planned.  Of course, I complied with their wishes like a dutiful mother with adult daughters!  My mother always taught me the importance of always having an event or occasion to look forward to!  Tracy and I were on a blistering path promoting our book! Then she was packing up and moving to Edmonton!!!  I was simply-in typical Sandra fashion… in constant motion!   Then suddenly it was June and the Mother and Three Daughters connection had to get our plans in order! OMG.  WE would be boarding flights for VANCOUVER in the next week!   

But my anticipation was not just about the destination or the birthday cake with too many candles!   It started when we finally began to talk about having some time together – just us!  The texts and emails in preparation for our trip were filled with fun and hilarious wit!   


A Rest and Restore trip with my most favorite extensions of myself  – ALL THREE –  to celebrate a significant trip around the sun with Big Mama proved to be the plan.  PERFECT!  


A FIRST……No one was assigned to pack snacks (for the children).  No one brought Children’s Tylenol or swimming goggles (for the children).  No one would need to ride double with a little one on her bike through Stanley Park.  One of the fantastic organizers checked out some great venues for meals but we had no set-in stone agenda except…to be together and -unsaid-take many pictures of having fun for our memory bank!

And ….no one needed to ‘fix’ any problem at home.  Dads were in charge and we had no crisis calls – well serious ones anyway!! And…everyone at home survived!  YES!  Even…the dog who has a crisis every week – waited until the following week to swallow a stick and need throat surgery! 

Rarely do I get my three girls together without interruption from someone…. needing something.  That is just the way motherhood works and they are all mothers.    What a great gift they gave me to celebrate not only my significant sprint on this earth but being the mother of three amazing women who made me laugh so uproariously at their antics and who savoured all our incredible moments ALONE together. I asked my son if he would like to join us on our next adventure.  “Well” he replied “Maybe for a piece of cake!  But honestly Mom. I couldn’t see myself spending the whole weekend with those crazy sisters!” LOL. 

Women spending time together.  Like the women at the well in ancient times.  Making things work in our families as chief executive officers – organizing, planning, writing to do lists.  remembering appointments for everyone, racing to commitments, multitasking.  Unbelievable human creations.  Problem solvers, kissing away fears and hurt.  Building self confidence in their own kids.  And if you as a woman picked well -having a husband like I do- sharing all these parenting and couple responsibilities as a team as our kids were growing themselves up!  

During the trip no one needed to leave her comfy bed in the middle of the night to settle a child.  Although when I couldn’t remember my room number after hunting down an Advil at midnight, I did have to listen intently at a few doors to find my team…but it was not that difficult!  The laughter & music continued!  One team member did ‘time’ another as the younger sister went on a midnight run to grab Doritos from a vending machine in the lobby to ensure her sibling was back in 7.5 minutes and had not been attacked by an errant stalker in the stairwell.   The Doritos were well received with seconds to spare!
 

We laughed and laughed and laughed together about my forgetting my phone in my daughter’s truck and one of my ‘athletes’ racin’ back  thru security to grab it and return just in time for the flight.  We all made new friends with Uber drivers and renewed friendships with precious women who joined us for ‘cake.’ 

I think my daughters sang the Happy Birthday song to me a dozen times- every time they could conjure a piece of cake out of the server at our table to set before me laughing as another piece of cake with lit candle and cotton candy or some such variation was presented courtesy of the venue in a continuation of my four-day birthday celebration
     
The only real responsibility my companions seemed to have was to take turns constantly requesting “Okay Mom.  Show us your phone!”  

We were however delayed on our return flight in security as I had neglected to remove contraband -a two-inch pocket knife -from  my carry on.  My organized travelling companion did not need to say anything.  I just saw …the look.  She had warned me previously about my tiny knife and other treasures that I might be stowing in my carry on. And besides the delay was only half an hour.   We made it on the plane to return home!   And then …just when I thought we had landed safely – my daughter headed briskly down the aisle as I struggled to get out of my seat forgetting I was on a plane rather than in my car and had difficulty ‘finding’ the buckle of the seat belt, struggling to stand up while still buckled, before beginning the search for the buckle!   There was a chivalrous gentlemen holding back the line coming behind him so I could unbuckle, protecting this sage woman by stopping everyone from sprinting to their next connection or …. missing their flight completely while waiting for me to get up and out!  When I finally realized how to release myself from bondage, I bolted quickly down the aisle looking neither right nor left!   Yes.  Sometimes I was the entertainment.  And sometimes….my girls…were mine!  We danced, we sang, we laughed.  We videoed 
    
Thanks to all the men in our lives who gave Big Mama this opportunity to bathe in such beautiful feminine energy and restore and renew in my quest with Tracy Stark to make our world a safer and more loving place for all children and their mothers.


And now my amazing first line centre, Tracy Stark and I will be returning to the ‘selling and signing’ game at the Summerfest in Sangudo on July 09, 2022. Thanks, Bob Walker, for sponsoring our table! We look forward to having you all visit our venue. May you all continue to take some moments with those who inspire you and get creative with your own self-care because we have important issues that need our united voices of concern in the coming months as we continue to share issues uncovered in Gross Misconduct Hitting From Behind  with the world!   Stay tuned! 
                                    
Love Sandra

PS: My girls and I are already excited and planning another adventure!  Maybe Mayerthorpe!  Just being together!  A fantastic treat!   Can’t wait! XXOO   SYK

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    Sandra Young Kolbuc

    Sandra is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist  who has been in private practice since 1993. As an incredibly engaging speaker Sandra as a storyteller weaves together her adventures as a woman of the earth, a wife, mother, grandmother, professional therapist and good good friend finding joy and hilarity in life coupled with serious reflection on the challenges that exist in life.

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