• Home
  • About The Authors
  • About The Book
  • Contact
  • Media
  • Subscribe
  • The R&R Hot Stove - Blog

WELCOME TO THE R&R HOT STOVE

*Scroll down to see the newest Blog post
Hot Stove was initially a baseball term says Wikipedia.   My husband tells me that in Canada the Hot Stove actually refers to the hot stoves in the “skate shacks” across Canada where kids would “fry” their wet mittens as they warmed up and wiped their runny noses between stints on the ice in the skate shacks beside the ice rinks that dotted our prairie towns!  Who do you believe?? LOL!  My friend Ross Meek- athlete, coach and former PE teacher would speak about his ‘team’ of colleagues adopting the term to describe their gathering together in ‘Hot Stove’ conversations early each Monday mornings after a weekend of watching NHL teams compete in Canada’s game.  

Each MONDAY MORNING you will find a Hot Stove post here on our website.  The focus will NOT normally be about hockey although the passion of two beautiful young hockey-playing boys named Radek and Ryder was certainly front and centre when the boys were alive and the hockey theme runs throughout the book.  We plan to give the reader further insights into some back stories and delve into our objectives as writers of this powerful narrative.  We will profile the incredible courage of a mother and her counselling therapist in the telling of a mother’s love story.  We will also share the actions of those who have helped a grieving mother in the mending of her broken heart as she continues to work on finding a degree of meaning and mastery since the death of her two boys on December 19, 2016 in a brutal senseless act of filicide by their biological father. 
Sometimes the topics will be passionately HOT like that of a burning stove aimed at stoking your courage to find your voice about things that matter in ending all violence against women and children in our society.  May our words encourage you to speak from the rafters of every arena in concert with our aim to end such violence.   Sometimes hopefully we will also bring a grin to your face as we share our connection on this road as client and therapist since 2017. 

                                                                                                                                                SANDRA YOUNG KOLBUC   ​

​THE R & R HOT STOVE - Mother's Day

5/2/2022

0 Comments

 
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THOSE AMAZING MAMAS OUT THERE!

Mother’s Day is coming soon!  A great day to honor women who are mothers. A wonderful day for those who have bonded well with their mothers who undeniably have the most important job on earth. We think of the beauty of the bouquets delivered. The wrapped presents opened. The smiles. The hugs. The crayon-colored pictures, the tributes to amazing mothers by their sons and daughters. However, a tough day for those estranged from their mothers with perhaps unresolved issues or…. those who had to set boundaries with an unhealthy mother whose presence in one’s life did not serve a young child or an eventual adult child well.  To those with great relationships with their mothers may you celebrate fiercely!   To those estranged may you reflect on whether your actions this Mother’s Day could change the divide while keeping healthy boundaries intact!  

Perhaps MOTHER’S DAY this year will be an amazing day of sleeping in and reflecting on the wonder of motherhood.  Perhaps it will be one day of not having to organize anything as Mama lies in bed doing an online shop for a new toaster and breathes in the wonder of the mother-child relationship.  Not likely!  Soon soggy toast from loving hands prepared by kids so excited to bring their Mama breakfast in bed is front and centre, each piece buttered and jammed up by loving little hands  and …who cares about sleep anyways?  
  

Mothers are generally the CEOs of the family.  Mom  knows everything -who goes where and when and with what in their backpack!  She is the one who writes the list for her husband who doesn’t make lists and forgets half the stuff he is supposed to pick up anyway because he loses the list!   Little Mama leaves him the phone message with the time of his dental appointment and tells him his shirt for the meeting is ironed and in his closet!  She reminds him that because his mother is coming to visit he needs to remember to take the dog to the kennel because Mother Mildred is allergic to ‘Gus’.  She texts him to wish him luck in his presentation and assures him she will drop off his prepared speech that he forgot in the bathroom before she races to the school with her son’s science project which her son forgot!  Learning early to depend on a woman for his success!  God!  
 

Then…he calls wondering if she could bring his Visa card that he thinks he left on his dresser when he did an online order for the new toaster he planned to give her for Mother’s Day. Amazing how he can remember the score in the Oiler’s Game against the Flames on April 2, 2012 and he does remember his tee time but he can’t remember that every Monday at 5:00 o’clock he has to pick up his daughter from Speech Therapy and phones from the liquor store to ask Mom at 4:59 pm what kind of wine the Joneses served at the last rotating dinner party having pushed the limit on pick up time for their girl who will be terrified if no one is there to pick her up…on time! We know.  You men are forever indebted to these women and one day a year you honor them with breakfast in bed made lovingly by …. their children!!!

It is a privilege and a rarity to be a stay-at-home mom these days.  Such women still have the great responsibility of the day long care of their children which can be very trying at times.   Most often once the kids are a little independent most women work outside the home as well as manage the majority of the family functioning.  I heard it said that when a married man with children is asked to run for political office he goes to his wife and says “Hey Honey.  I am thinking of running for political office.  What do you think?”  A married woman on the other hand who is asked to run for office figures out…. Who is going to pick up the kids after school? and Who is going to stay home with one of the kids if he or she is ill?  Who is going to get Johnny to ballet and Mabel to hockey?  Who is going to do the grocery shop and wash the cars and wipe the kids tears when the gecko at school escapes and is eaten by a stray cat in the school yard?  Who is going to be the manager of the soccer team every Saturday and who is going to prepare the lunch for the school Hallowe’en party? What is the kid going to be for that party and who is going to do her make up for the parade?  Needless to say It is far more complicated for our country’s women to run for office and we need the excellence of such women in decision making positions.    

So here’s to mothers with that lovely bottle of bubbly that hubby brought into the house sporting a big smile and a receipt for $9.95 from CJs to thank ‘the wife’ for taking care of ….EVERYTHING!!!!  Gotta love him!

To these most amazing creations - MOTHERS!!      Ultimately it is utterly unbelievable what a small group of committed mothers can do to change their communities and make their corner of the world a better place for all children ….and their fathers …by their commitment to making things happen in the right order at the right time on the right day!  

However, on the other hand all joking aside, the mother-child relationship has many facets and many faces. Mother’s Day is not a joyful day for all mothers when such a relationship between mother and child(ren) has been severed and is a particularly tough day for any child who has lost a mother…. or for any mother who has lost a child(ren).

A mother who lost her two children on the same day in the same ungodly manner five and a half years ago …..Well, she has simply …… ….GONE FISHIN’ …to find her tranquility this up and coming Mother’s Day weekend.  

May the sunshine and surf and the beauty of the coastal waters bring you peace this Mother’s Day weekend Tracy Stark.   May you recharge as you reel in a big one! And be ready.  Our load of books for our events will be here in the next week and we will be launching big time in our attempt to change the world for all mothers and children caught in unhealthy controlling relationships in both separated and intact families in the name of your beautiful sons Ryder and Radek!  We’ll be ready Little Mama!


Stay Turned my Friends.  Two Women with a Vision and a Mission!

Love,

Sandra
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Sandra Young Kolbuc

    Sandra is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist  who has been in private practice since 1993. As an incredibly engaging speaker Sandra as a storyteller weaves together her adventures as a woman of the earth, a wife, mother, grandmother, professional therapist and good good friend finding joy and hilarity in life coupled with serious reflection on the challenges that exist in life.

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About The Authors
  • About The Book
  • Contact
  • Media
  • Subscribe
  • The R&R Hot Stove - Blog